My Story

1, 2, 3... time to BE!

You may be wondering... BE what? Well, What do you want to BE? 

Personally I want to BE confident and completely unique. I want to BE... ME. (Well, NOWWW I do.) But there was once a day when I compared myself to the girls on fashion runways and vogue magazine covers... The stick thin models and movie stars that the world just seems to loooovvve. From the outside you wouldn't have thought that I had a problem with this at one point. But, I did. 

It is SO true that everyone has a story that is written from within. And everyone's story is unlike anyone else's. I want to start this blogging thing off by telling you a little bit about my story. Sooo... here it goes. :)

When I was little, I always had a smile on my face. I was a normal 10-year-old girl. I loved playing soccer, dancing, going shopping, dressing up, and putting make-up on for fun. 

My family has strong Christian values and the importance of having a genuine heart was always apparent. In my family, it was never about looking good. It was about loving others and living like Christ would. I was confident with myself and the person that God had created me to be. I look back at those times and wonder why I ever questioned my beauty.   

My eating disorder battle didn't occur because of my family life, friend life, or my own self-esteem. It first started with MAGAZINE advertising. The way that they were always showing ways to get the "best figure" and how to look similar to the television icons. I became more focused on the worldly influences and how society obsesses on the way people 'look'. During the summer before the 5th grade, I began to eat less and less. I was obsessed with losing weight, paranoid of gaining weight, and fearful of becoming fat. I tried to avoid eating food all day long. I would find ways to throw away my half-eaten food with no one noticing. I started weighing myself several times a day; hoping that the number that appeared on the display would be less each time. If it weren’t, I would go into my room and do jumping jacks, sit-ups, push-ups, and any other exercises that I thought would make the pounds drop. I began to believe that if I didn't do these activities, I wouldn't be beautiful. Satan tormented me with lies that told me I wasn't pretty and I needed to be something else than who I was created to be. I didn't know that these thoughts were taking over my life. They were controlling my mind and body and I was addicted to losing weight. My young body screamed for help. Satan was trying to destroy the future that God has for me. My parents and I went to the Healing Rooms, which is a place to receive prayer for anything. It was amazing to be surrounded by a group of people (twenty or more) that I didn't even know... but they were people that loved the Lord and desired to be there for my family and me during this difficult time. What an amazing thing! Through this first step of faith... 

The Lord began to completely heal my body and restore my outlook on beauty. 

I was admitted to Phoenix Children's Hospital to get proper treatment since my bodily functions were beginning to fail. The lack of food and water was causing dehydration and several other malfunctions. I slept, ate, and went to school at the hospital since it was in the middle of the school year. My childhood was becoming far from normal. My parents prayed that their daughter would see her true beauty soon. They searched for answers as to why this would be happening. They were frightened and shaken in faith, but thankfully had friends that God put into their lives'. They decided to send me to Remuda Ranch in Wickenburg, Arizona for specialized treatment. There, I met adults and teen women that were dealing with the same problems as me. Although I was by far the youngest one in the facility, it was a turning point in my battle with anorexia. I learned how to take my thoughts captive about my weight and self-esteem. Through reading my Bible, group activities, therapy, and developing goals for myself, I returned to a healthy weight and state of mind.  

He is the Alpha, Omega, Beginning, and End. He will heal all of your wounds and give peace and comfort in times of trials. I have come to learn a great deal about the future God has for me. I'll never forget all of the pain that the eating disorder brought my family and I, but I'll also always think about the joy it brought me knowing that God saved my life because He loves me and uniquely created me to fulfill the plans that He has for my life. I am so glad to say that I have completely recovered from my battle with the eating disorder. I love shining my light and having confidence wherever I go because that is what Christ has called me to do; living a bold life for Him. I am fully convinced that this happened for a reason and I am determined to help others in this area.  

I refuse to let outer beauty dictate my happiness in life. 

Jesus Christ has an incredible plan for your futures. 

He has uniquely created each one of you.

BE beautiful from the inside out.